My friend Ron faithfully attended our small church, but he didn't like our worship services much. Maybe it was that we met in a rented building. It didn't feel like, you know, a church. Maybe it was our style—just acoustic guitar and a sermon. And who knows? Maybe my sermons weren't all that great for him! If that was the case, he was too kind to say.

All I know is that sometimes Ron came to our gatherings looking a bit rumpled, passive —even a little grumpy. And he didn't always fully agree with our programming, like when we hosted a 5K fund-raising run for a local AIDS clinic. Also, Ron didn't like fellow church member Dick the navy guy very much. He didn't hate him, but there was a bit of a personality clash.

My point is that church can sometimes be challenging. This is another sign of sanctification: giving up control. "Value others above yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). "Bear with each other and forgive one another" (Colossians 3:13). These are big themes in the Bible.

Every pastor I know can tell stories about church members who are controlling, bitter, bent on misery—and who make everyone else miserable too. Please don't be such a person.

It says a lot about Ron's faith that he stayed with us. He served and put up with us, even if at times he was a bit grumpy.